You know you've been baptized into parenthood when...

-You can’t leave the house because you have run out of clothes that don’t have vomit on them

-You’ve been pooped, peed and spit up on all within a matter of a few hours

-You keep checking the baby’s diaper and then realize the smell of urine is coming from your own clothes and left from the last diaper leak

-You find yourself humming a strange tune in the grocery store and then recall it’s the song from the baby bouncer music box

-You ride in the car with white noise blaring through the speakers just to get some peace and quiet

-You learn how to do most household chores with one arm

-You agree that no one should cry over spilled milk, but would argue for the exception of breast milk. If that spills, it’s more than acceptable to cry

-You can put the 20 pieces of a Dr. Brown’s bottle together in your sleep

-You kiss your baby’s temple and get smeared eye goop on your face and somehow you’re not really bothered by it

-You’ve considered taking a swig of your child’s Milicon because it’s easier than trying to find the bottle of Tums in the other room

-Your breakfast, lunch, and dinner are at times one in the same meal

-You need to change your camera battery as often as you do the baby’s diapers

-You love watching your baby sleep peacefully and could literally stare at them in awe for hours while doing so