Monday, June 30, 2014

Exhausted Moms

Being a Mom is one of the best experiences in life. We wouldn’t trade it for the world. However, there are seasons when we find ourselves exhausted. It’s okay to identify it and even laugh about it. Here are 21 indicators you may be an exhausted Mom.

 You know you are an exhausted Mom when:

1. You try to vacuum a piece of dried scrambled egg off the floor while running over it 20 times, trying to suck it up, rather than bend down to scrape it off the floor.

2. You’ve washed the same load of laundry 3 times because you can’t remember to get it into the dryer before it starts to smell. When your husband questions you about it, you respond by saying, “I haven’t done that in like…a couple of days.”

3. You see a puddle of water on the sink, from your child’s last hand washing, and smear it around the sink with the towel and call it “clean” for the week.

4. You’ve shaken the organic puff jar from the other room to get your infant to come back to the room you are in much like you would call an animal.

5. You ignore the peas dropped on the floor at dinner because they are easier to pick up once dried and vacuumed the next day.

6. You hear an urgent request for “SNACK!” while scrubbing pans and 30 seconds after watching your child consume the entire full four course breakfast you just cooked.

7. You try to rock two sick boys in a rocking chair at once, while they kick and try to kill one another for more space on your lap. You hold back nasty words about how badly it hurts when a stray heel or elbow hits you in the breast.

8. Your toddler laughs and shakes his head while reminding you that he and his brother keep “pooping all day long.” You know this. You don’t need a reminder.

9. You realize "dusting" is just a fancy word for puffing a quick breath of air at any piece of furniture as you walk by.

10. You forget what you’ve done all week but can check the sofa cushions. Traces of each meal, craft, and any activity are shoved there. It’s a memory book of sorts to recap your adventures.

11. You savor the smell of a clean little boy because that smell only lasts .2 seconds from when he gets toweled off and runs or crawls out of the bathroom.

12. Your dishwasher is full of utensils but no plates or cups because you have been using disposable dishes as much as possible.

13. Your child is eating mustard with a spoon and painting his face with ketchup. You don’t care.

14. You try to sleep at night, but The Curious George theme song won’t stop playing in your head. In an odd way, you are comforted by it.

15. There’s a new sand box by the laundry basket in your son’s room. It’s where he takes his clothes off and the sand and dirt pour out.

16. You pull the vacuum out of the closet every day. You don’t vacuum every day, but it’s the only way the kids will pick up toys. It may have something to do with your threats that the vacuum eats toys that don’t get picked up. The best laugh you’ve had all week is at how fast they are moving.

17. You catch a virus and your toddler keeps asking if you “trow up yet?”..…in an anxious hopeful way.

18. Brotherly conflict management has been simplified to “Hit him back” instructions to end the matter. Normally you care enough to encourage “using nice words” with each other. That stopped days ago.

19. In the morning, you try to remember which child you were up with in the night and how many times. Then you realize how pointless it is when you can’t remember what day it is.

20. You spent ten minutes trying to justify your case against poking little brother in his eyes before you realize you’ve been manipulated out of ten minutes from a toddler. You’ve been outsmarted again.

21. Each night while preparing dinner, both boys cry simultaneously and competitively for your attention. You zone out to a certain level and bob your head to a rhythm of a made up song in your head about how one day you might go crazy.

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