You Might Have a Newborn If:

You look at your sleeping child and wonder if they will ever realize how much you love them.

Smiles outweigh moments of spit up. You almost forgot about the spit up pooled on your clothing when a big toothless half grin pears up at you…almost.

You realize whoever said, “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend,” is a liar. It’s elastic. Specifically, elastic waist pants.

Your sleep deprivation coincides with your minor case of undiagnosed OCD, when you get annoyed the breast pump doesn’t pump at the beat of the music playing on your IPhone.

You have a moment of tears when you try to fix a meal for your family and you can’t find a knife sharp enough to cut the skin off the raw chicken.

Almost daily, you have an internal conflicting debate about what to do with your 5 minutes of free time. Shower or eat? This may be your only chance for either.

You happily manage to “baby talk” in a high pitch tone while fighting a splitting headache.

A trip to the pharmacy or grocery store is a day or night out on the town, or at least that’s what it feels like.

You fear the day you have to grocery shop alone with two small children.

You try on your wedding ring on at least twice a week, hoping your swelling and weight have dropped enough to squeeze it on.

Cuddles and skin to skin somehow make you forget there is a world outside of your own home.

Any day you are not in your pajamas while you are fixing lunch is a successful day.

You Google “What to do if your newborn is….” at least biweekly.

Your distain for folding laundry has reached an all time high with the exception of doing your children’s clothing. Those are still just plain old cute. You never get tired of looking at those little pieces.

You only know what day of the week it is by what is playing on “prime time” aka “colic time” TV.

You got 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep last night. In related news, you had enough energy to make car sounds as you raced your toddler’s plate over to the breakfast table. 

You realize those who tell you to “Nap when the baby naps” have never had a sink full of breast pump pieces and Dr. Brown bottles. They mean well, so you smile and nod.

You caught your toddler brushing his hair with the Swiffer and secretly wish he would volunteer to “brush” the dusty furniture for you.

During the day, you wish you could capture all the sweet moments and stuff them in the baby book. Really, you do because you fear you won’t have time to ever write in the baby book.

When you look at your baby, you thank God for the precious gift He’s given you. You try to wrap your brain around how His grace and blessings are beyond what you deserve.