Almost Ready For Baby Boy's Arrival

You Might be Pregnant and Raising a Toddler If:

-It’s Noon on a Wednesday afternoon and would be lunchtime by most standards, but you finally got your toddler to take a nap after battling for over an hour. You will wait until he wakes to eat lunch. Not because you’re being polite, but because you just downed a bowl of ice cream in a brief moment of not feeling obligated to share it that would have been if you waited until later.

-Your house is messy. The main toilet is clean, but that’s about all you have to offer.

-Laundry has been getting done on an as needed basis.

-Your hair straightener practically begged you to be used this morning, but your child’s curious hands + consistent hanging on your leg prevented that from happening. Today you half- heartedly display a messy hair look.  That’s code for, “You ran out of time and energy. “

-There are two big pads of art paper on the living room floor. They are great for art time. Art time was two days ago.

-You had a talk with your child today about how it is okay to dance by the table, at the table, and under the table. It is NOT okay to dance on top of the table. Pediatrician was right. These ARE pretty important formative years. You hope this lesson lasts long into his/her adult years.

-You find yourself standing at your bathroom sink with acne treatment in one hand and age defying night cream in the other.  How did you get here? Is this skin care purgatory? Still battling teenage breakouts yet fighting the increasing wrinkles that are multiplying exponentially on your face. Somehow the teenage/middle age seasons of life overlapped when you weren’t looking.  You’re not sure how you missed it or how to find your way out.

-You’ve reach that size in pregnancy that each time you sit on the edge of your child’s toddler bed to tuck him in, your husband braces for the sound of the bed’s support boards breaking. If it weren’t such a practical concern, you would be mad about this.

-Today is the day your child figured out how to open the public bathroom stall door (while you’re using it) from the inside. Coincidently, it’s also the day you added  “Nanny” to your “If I ever win the lottery” wish list.

-Normally, you fix healthy meals. Right now, if there were a shortage of peanut butter, jelly, cheese sticks, or chicken nuggets at the store, you would be lost…very lost.

-Your toddler is wearing a rotation of 4 different outfits. You have more outfits to offer, but these 4 are the ones with no buttons and no zippers. If you count running around in just a diaper as an outfit, you can make his regular wardrobe jump to 5 outfits total.

-Your husband isn’t sure how to respond to the sounds of pain that come from you in the middle of the night. Is it a muscle cramp, contraction, dream, grunting from the effort it takes to turn from one side to the next, or are you just reliving the difficult parts of your day?

-Your standard on many things has lowered when it comes to what you let slide for your child. If you have to bend to fix or clean it, it can probably just wait. Playing in the toilet, eating bugs, and licking the floor still remain unacceptable and gross though.

-You don’t care if your shorts match your shirt. You can’t see the shorts anyway since your belly is so big. Chances are they will get stained with peanut butter or jelly by the time you are ready to leave the house anyway.

-Your husband makes a comment on how the kitchen hasn’t been over heating, while you are cooking dinner, since the new A/C was put in.  You remind him that you haven’t cooked in over a week and that might be why it’s not over heating during dinner time.

-You have allowed yourself to count regular swim lessons as bathing for your child. Both involve water. Both involve thrashing around.