Recently I’ve entered a
season of seeing the overwhelming need to get my “stuff” together. I need to get going on transforming our old
office into the nursery for the baby. The cleaning out and re-organizing the
house to fit everything is not something I look forward to doing. I’m
procrastinating, and I know it. I know I’ll need to throw things out that I
really want to hang onto. This house is
only so big. It can’t hold everything. When it’s done, and clean, fresh paint
is on the wall, and everything is in the correct place, that will be a great
feeling. It will be worth it all in the
end. A beautiful and precious baby will fill the space where the unneeded stuff once was.
Here’s the thing: The office
isn’t the only thing I need to clean out. Turns out I’ve got other “stuff” to
deal with too. Ever sense you need to
make some changes, and then that reminder keeps popping up every time you turn
around? That’s where I’m at, and I can’t
seem to dodge it. Not only does the closet in the office have baggage that
needs to be thrown out, so does my heart.
Pride. Anger. Stubbornness.
Guilt. Insecurity. These are just a few of the things that need to be hauled to
the trash. Let’s face it, these things won’t be going to the Goodwill donation
bin. Nobody wants them. They need to be trashed. I know exactly what dumpster
has their name on it. Learning to let go and pitch them in? That’s the hard
part. For some reason, it’s hard to let
them go. Unfortunately, they fall into a group of things that hold many of us
captive of enjoying the life we were meant to have.
The scary part, and the one
most pressing upon me, is that if I don’t take care of the baggage now, I’m
overwhelmingly realizing my children will inherit it. Oh, how I long for them
to not battle the same issues I do. I
long to be a better wife, mother, and follower of Christ. That is the core of
the plea I can hear from deep within.
I’m thankful for other women
that spur me to be a better person on a regular basis. Challenge can be
healthy. I’m thankful for a supportive
and prayerful husband, especially one who loves me and probably doesn’t see how
flawed as I know I am. I’m thankful for a church that isn’t afraid to say it
like it is when it comes to the need to change, and somehow manages to speak on
the very topics that are pressing on my heart each week. I’m thankful for instrumental
people who are willing to hold me accountable in my spiritual sojourn’s goals.
I’m thankful for the Lord giving me the courage to take steps in making changes
and slowing getting a jump start on the Spiritual Spring cleaning I so
need.
And so, my journey to clean
out, organize, and put a layer of fresh paint on walls, goes on. I’ll need to
throw out things I don’t need, to make room for something precious and
beautiful.
Instead
of bronze I will bring you gold, and silver in place of iron.
Instead of wood I
will bring you bronze, and iron in place of stones.
I will make peace your
governor
and well-being your ruler. – Isaiah 60:17
