Happy New Year!

As my mind’s eye scans the shelf labeled 2009 in my head and heart, I see it is full. It seems just like yesterday I needed book ends to hold the titles up from falling over in the shelf. That was about January of this year or so. Now they are packed in so tight, I am having to give them a shove to fit on the shelf. My wedding album is there, it’s one of my favorites. One book is there that is labeled “New Experiences.” It’s probably the biggest one on the shelf. Some of are hiking, kayaking, camping, and travel. Some are of gushy love stuff that newlyweds are known for. Some are of challenges and some are of trials. All are of blessings and covered with God’s love and work.

Last year I shared with you that Phil and I often ask each other “How did we get here” in an awe like tone of how the Lord has worked in our lives. I still think He does it one day at a time. Yet again, in those one day at a time moments this year, I have laughed, cried, learned, and walked away with a cup overflowing more than ever before.

Here are some random things (in random order) that I learned in those one day at a time moments this year:

-If you don’t unpack all boxes after a move, certain things will be lost forever…the boxes will eat them
-Kayaking at sunset reminds you God is near
-There is a society for everything…even Dutch Ovens
-“I do.”- Best words I’ve ever spoken and best words ever said to me
-Love can make you do crazy things…like caving through tiny holes while claustrophobia is knocking at your door
-A fork can be used as a hair comb in a pinch
-Being far away from things in life makes you realize how much you love them…like my family and Whitey’s Ice Cream
-An infant’s coffin is one of the hardest things to see in life
-A couple’s massage on the beach at sunset in St. Lucia is hard to beat
-Hearing the Lord takes practice
-Covering your mouth when you sneeze and washing your hands is important…our president says so
-My husband is the best husband in the world
-Standing up for what is right is the right thing to do
-Date nights are the best nights
-Seeing the same children in an orphanage year after year is a harsh picture of an unjust world
-If gourmet dog treats that look like chocolate chip cookies and are sitting next to cookies for people...they WILL get eaten...by people.
-520 spiral staircase steps are a reminder of how young you aren’t anymore
-Name changes, DMVs, and registration lines are what sit-coms where created from
-There are some things in life I will never understand the purpose of…like Beef Jerky
-Risk taking for the Lord is worth it…Even if you are still waiting to see what His plan is
-Time in prayer is never wasted time

Can it actually be that it is time to move to a new shelf and a new year? So much has happened. I gaze at the space on the shelf for 2010. It’s empty. The potential that hovers around it is immense. I think I know of a few books that may fill up the spot, but I’m not totally sure. The pages of those books have yet to be written and the endings are still up in the air. Ready or not…on to a new year, new books, new memories, same promise….


"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." – Jeremiah 29:11-13

Happy New Year!

Emanuel

I’ve often wondered what holiday celebrations might be like in Heaven. I’m guessing they don’t single out one day for a holiday. In fact, the concept of a day in time is probably non-existent. I’m sure every day is a day of celebration as if it were the best day ever. About one week ago, my dear Grandmother entered into the gates of finding that out. Although we mourn the loss of her sweet spirit, we rejoice that this Christmas she will be in the midst of royalty….she is celebrating with the King and singing with angels. How hard it is to say goodbye, but so sweet is the comfort in knowing where she is. God is good.

It seems like yesterday I was waking up with my sister before the crack of dawn to check if Santa ate the cookies and left us goodies under the tree. In an instant or even a blink of an eye, it seems, we grew up. Not sure where the time went, but I’m glad it got me here to where I am.

As we prepare for Christmas Eve celebrations and Christmas day festivities, I reflect on the many blessings I have been given. I give thanks for life. I give thanks for the 89 years of my Grandmother’s life that left a legacy that will be handed down from generation to generation. I give thanks for the life the Lord has given me. I give thanks for the life of the baby He sent to us on Christmas morning in a stable in Bethlehem. Emanuel…God with us...from the beginning, to today, and forevermore. Emanuel…God with us.


Merry Christmas!

Random God Sighting

As I was walking out of a public building, I saw a man on the other side of the glass door I was about to exit through. He was elderly and hunched over as he walked. I could tell with each step he took, pain was consuming his body.

He looked up and we made eye contact. I saw him pick up his pace a bit with one last step and he hurried to open the door….for me. His arm shook as he pulled open the heavy door. I resisted the urge to beat him to the door and insist I held it for him. I could see he really wanted to open the door for me and show a young lady respect by this gesture. I let him. I smiled and walked through the door and thanked him. His arms were shaking as he held the door with all his might. He smiled back.

A light was shining within Him. I’ve seen that light before…it’s the light of Jesus. What about you, have you seen Him lately? I bet if you look, you will find Him.

Oh Christmas Tree

Phil and I ventured out and bought our first Christmas tree. This is our first Christmas as a married couple. We shopped around and found a tree that looked like it would do. It’s not an ordinary tree, or at least not anymore. This tree, you see, is our international tree. The ornaments are those in which we have purchased in other countries. There are a few exceptions. The ball ornaments are from Wal-Mart because we don’t have enough international ornaments yet to fill the entire tree. The angel on top, although no doubt made in a foreign country, was purchased here in the US as well. She was a gift from my grandmother and is what she would describe as an irresistible Cracker Barrel purchase.

I put Christmas music on and we went to work getting the tree up. Phil did great at rigging up the lights and eventually, we got to the best part- the ornaments. I love the tree. As I look at the ornaments, I see the faces of those loved ones overseas that have made a difference in our lives. Some of the ornaments Phil and I bought together. Some are ones we bought separately before we even met. One was commissioned by us and carved by a beach living Rastafarian in St. Lucia on our honeymoon. His name was Chris. Would you believe, I still think of and pray for him every so often? One is from Romania, where my heart was broken, pieced together, and changed forever. One is from Russia, a country I have never been to, but has a special place in the heart of my husband. Each one represents so much in our lives.

I like that there is room on the tree to grow and more memories to be made. More countries to visit and more lives to be a part of…Lord willing. Then again who knows, maybe we won’t be able to add any more to the tree. If not, I will still enjoy it and the memories it holds. I have a nativity scene from Kenya in our living room. I remember it took about an hour of on and off bargaining with the shop owner to get him down to a realistic price. He called me “Mama.” I remember him too. I wonder what he is doing this day or even this Christmas.

Christmas has always been hard for me since my first mission trip in 2005. It’s hard to explain. I love Christmas. I love Christmas music. I love the act of giving gifts to those I love and even those I don’t know. I love celebrating the miracle of Christ’s birth. However, there is always a sadness that lurks within. I think of all the little ones I have met along the way. What will they be doing on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning? Will they feel alone? What if the Lord has a child selected for us to adopt one day? Is that child out there somewhere now, and will that precious child sit alone wondering where we are this Christmas? Oh my, that hurts to think about.

On a lighter note, I give thanks and praise to the One above who has blessed me so. I am blessed beyond what I deserve and give thanks to Him. I’m excited to celebrate my first Christmas as “Mrs.” I’m excited to sit by the fire and cuddle with my husband when it is cold outside. I’m excited to give thanks for an incredible year that has just flown by. I give thanks and look forward to what is in the future and what may be added to our bank of memories.

I dreamed the other night that I tried buying ornaments from a store here in the US. I wanted to fill our new tree more and was fully intending to pass the ornaments off as ones I had bought overseas. I thought this was funny because I wouldn’t really do that in real life. The truth is, He gives us special moments in His time and at just the right time. No rush here, the tree will fill as He allows. Christmas is not about the tree or what is underneath. Celebrating and taking joy in the baby that was born in the stable and is starring back at me in that nativity scene from Africa…He is the reason…He is enough….He is the joy of the season.

The Blind Side

It’s been quite a while since I have seen a good movie.... a really good movie. When I say good, I mean the kind of movie that somehow touches you deeply to where you are still thinking about it days later. I finally made it to see the movie “Blind Side.” This was my second attempt. The first time it was sold out, but persistence paid off.

To give you an idea, the movie is about an orphan boy who needs a miracle and who longs to be loved. A wealthy family takes him in, and not only teaches him how to play football, but gives him the most precious gift of all….love. Let me just warn that if you are a parent, if you have ever worked with at-risk children, or if you have even the smallest emotional bone in your body, take some Kleenex. You will need them.

The story is about the life of a young boy named Michael. From the start of the movie, it’s easy to fall in love with him and want to jump into the screen and just hug him. Probably not more than ten minutes into the movie, I felt my heart beginning to sink and tears coming down my face. He reminded me so much of many children I have had the privilege to love on and to teach. He reminded me of my at risk students that lived in the projects here in the US. Michael carried his school books in a plastic grocery bag because he had no backpack. Wal-Mart bags were the choice bag for my kids’ make shift backpacks. As I watched him carry the bag in the movie, I couldn’t help but think of my old kids. They were just like Michael. He had never owned a bed, neither had most of my students. As I reminisced about them I found myself smiling while my heart was crying for them once again. He also reminded me of the many orphan children I have met around the world. All of them also longing for a family and a chance to live out the potential within their lives.

My Pastor just finished a sermon series on taking risks. We looked in Hebrews 11, and studied about what the Word says about faith and risks. What if we all took the risk to help someone the way Michael’s adopted family did in this movie? What if we gave someone a chance and helped them reach their potential? What if we poured out love to someone not knowing if we would receive the love back? Would it take faith? Would it be a risk? I’m guessing so! However, just as the movie (which is a true story) proved, some risks are worth taking.

I’d encourage you to see the movie if you get a chance. I’d also encourage you to ask the Lord what He would want you to do in helping others. Caring for the least of these may be His answer to your question. What will your response be?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Psalm 107 (New International Version)


1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
2 Let the redeemed of the LORD say this—
those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,

3 those he gathered from the lands,
from east and west, from north and south. [a]

4 Some wandered in desert wastelands,
finding no way to a city where they could settle.

5 They were hungry and thirsty,
and their lives ebbed away.

6 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.

7 He led them by a straight way
to a city where they could settle.

8 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men,

9 for he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things.

10 Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom,
prisoners suffering in iron chains,

11 for they had rebelled against the words of God
and despised the counsel of the Most High.

12 So he subjected them to bitter labor;
they stumbled, and there was no one to help.

13 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.

14 He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom
and broke away their chains.

15 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men,

16 for he breaks down gates of bronze
and cuts through bars of iron.

17 Some became fools through their rebellious ways
and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.

18 They loathed all food
and drew near the gates of death.

19 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.

20 He sent forth his word and healed them;
he rescued them from the grave.

21 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men.

22 Let them sacrifice thank offerings
and tell of his works with songs of joy.

23 Others went out on the sea in ships;
they were merchants on the mighty waters.

24 They saw the works of the LORD,
his wonderful deeds in the deep.

25 For he spoke and stirred up a tempest
that lifted high the waves.

26 They mounted up to the heavens and went down to the depths;
in their peril their courage melted away.

27 They reeled and staggered like drunken men;
they were at their wits' end.

28 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
and he brought them out of their distress.

29 He stilled the storm to a whisper;
the waves of the sea were hushed.

30 They were glad when it grew calm,
and he guided them to their desired haven.

31 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men.

32 Let them exalt him in the assembly of the people
and praise him in the council of the elders.

33 He turned rivers into a desert,
flowing springs into thirsty ground,

34 and fruitful land into a salt waste,
because of the wickedness of those who lived there.

35 He turned the desert into pools of water
and the parched ground into flowing springs;

36 there he brought the hungry to live,
and they founded a city where they could settle.

37 They sowed fields and planted vineyards
that yielded a fruitful harvest;

38 he blessed them, and their numbers greatly increased,
and he did not let their herds diminish.

39 Then their numbers decreased, and they were humbled
by oppression, calamity and sorrow;

40 he who pours contempt on nobles
made them wander in a trackless waste.

41 But he lifted the needy out of their affliction
and increased their families like flocks.

42 The upright see and rejoice,
but all the wicked shut their mouths.

43 Whoever is wise, let him heed these things
and consider the great love of the LORD.

"Walking with God"

“In the beginning of our story, before the fall of the human race, before we sent the world spinning off its axis- there was a garden called, Eden. And in that garden, the first man and the first woman had a life we have all been looking for ever since. They walked with God, communicated with him directly: For this we were made. And this we MUST recover. Intimacy with God is the purpose of our lives. It’s why God created us.” (Walking with God by John Eldredge).


I haven’t read a really good book for a while. Haven’t had a lot of time to, but even when I did have time to read, the books weren’t really “speaking” to me. Recently, I went to a bookstore and walked in with a feeling of wanting to find a book that would help me with hearing God speak. I looked in one section to find a group of popular sellers. I pulled one off the shelf. It was about hearing God and using the gift of prophecy. Not what I had in mind. I kept looking and found “Walking with God” by John Eldredge.

All I can say is, Wow! If you want a more intimate relationship with the One who wants to be your best friend and to talk to you…check this book out. It’s really good.

Dutch Oven Surprise

We recently went for a hike at a state park here in Texas. Just as we got there, we stumbled upon a group of people. An aroma of home cooked food surrounded their site. The signs hanging around and logos embroidered on their aprons let us know they were the “Dutch Oven Society” of Texas. Apparently, once a month they get together for a potluck dinner and fellowship. Yes…there is actually a society for people with a passion for cooking with Dutch Ovens…amazing....I know.

We walked around the site to just take it all in. Camp site grills and Dutch oven galore…RVs were everywhere. While we were walking, a couple approached us to say hello and to invite us to the meal. We politely declined and explained we had only come to the park to hike. Soon another couple came up and invited us to stay. Again we declined. Soon more people came up as we were walking away and asked us to stay. We had no choice but to give into the friendliness. How could we say no to these sweet people who seemed so happy, kind, and eager for us to eat their food?!

Oh the amount of food! (All cooked in Dutch Ovens on camp fire coals) It was actually pretty good too. However, the conversation and people were even better. We were invited to sit with three other couples that were a part of the Dutch Oven Society. We not only learned about the couples in the group and about the group, but also learned about cooking and eating the perfect mountain oyster. To be really honest, I never wanted to know that information. If you don’t know what a mountain oyster is, don’t ask…you don’t want to know. The stories made us laugh as we enjoyed our meal together. The people were precious.

Afterwards, I got to thinking. If we Christians were half as passionate about our faith as these people were about Dutch Oven cooking, we could really reach more people. If we were as warm, friendly, giving, and eager to feed and befriend, maybe the church would be more packed on Sunday morning. If we didn’t take no for an answer, and insisted we gave to someone without expecting something in return (especially to complete strangers), imagine how our family would grow!

I learned a lot from that Dutch Oven meal. A little surprise for me that day. I went for a hike expecting to see the beauty in nature on that crisp fall day, and I did. However, I saw even more beauty in the kindness and passion of strangers who wanted to share a meal with a couple they didn’t even know. Perfect example of how we should reach out to others and show the love of Christ.

As the deer pants for streams of water...

At times I get so busy with the details of the everyday routine, I forget to look at the beauty around me. Every once in a while I take a break and try to enjoy the beauty God has given us that most days we all take for granted.

On a recent hike at a state park in Illinois, I snapped a few pictures of the scenes around me. Wow. The colors so abundant, the freshly fallen leaves on the path looked like streets of gold in a way. The paths looked paved in color and prepared for just my feet. Only God could create such a picture. Only His hands could arrange the sights, the cool breeze, and the fresh air on a crisp fall day. For a moment, I wasn’t thinking about my to-do list or even where the hour hand on my watch was. In that moment I was thankful for a God that is the master of masterpieces. No other artist can paint a picture that captures all the senses as He does. Taking time to enjoy it is what He wants us to do. It helps us to grow closer to Him and to appreciate His work.

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? (Psalm 42: 1-2)

Big Tex

I’ve done and seen a lot of new things in the past few months. Recently, I made the Mecca like journey for every Texan to the Texas State Fair. The fair was a big event. Then again, everything in Texas is big, right? One thing the fair is known for is the fried food. Every year, a new fried item is introduced and announced the contest winner for the year. This year was fried butter. Sounds terrible. No doubt is terrible for your arteries, but I figured one bite wouldn’t hurt me. After all, the fair is only once a year.

Shockingly enough, the fried butter was really good. Here’s the deal: You take a lump of frozen butter, put some batter on it, deep fry it, and serve. The result is a biscuit like doughnut bite of buttery heaven with a little powdered sugar on top. Nice.

I’ve been making a conscious effort to eat healthier. (Obviously after reading about my food choice above!) In the last three weeks, I have had no pop/soda. I’ve been eating smaller portions and been making healthier choices. Maybe that change in my habits made the menu items stand out to me so much at the fair. Here is a list of a few of the fried items they offer:

Fried Ice Cream
Fried PB, Jelly and Banana Sandwich
Fried Coke
Fried Praline Perfection
Deep Fried Latte
Fried Cookie Dough
Fried Banana Split
Chicken Fried Bacon
Deep Fried Butter
Deep Fried Peaches & Cream
Fried Snickers
Fried Twinkie
Fried Peanut Butter Cup
Fried Cheesecake
Fried Smores

I’m proud to say out of all of these choices, I had only one bite of fried butter. That’s pretty good by most fair patron standards. All in all, it was a fun night. We were greeted with a good ole “Howdy” from Big Tex who stands tall each year and greets each fair visitor. We rode the Ferris Wheel that glides 212 feet high in the air to overlook the skyline of Dallas. My husband tried to win me a stuffed animal at an impossible to win game. We ate a bit of fried food, and of course we had the traditional Corn Dog from the fair vendors.

It was a nice end to my first summer in Texas. Now, on to the next adventure and new experience.

Autistic Basketball Player

In the storybooks, there are always happy endings. Do you remember hearing a story as a child and feeling that all was right in the world from getting caught up in the feel good moment of the fairytale? As adults, those moments are few and far between it seems. Even watching the news can be a downer in these times. Economic hardships, war, and violence are being reported at each newscast every night. There actually are stories of good out there. There are stories of answered prayers and miracles happening each day. When I hear them, I slip back into that child like state of, even just for a second, feeling all is right in the world.

Here is a story that did it for me recently. I hope it puts a smile on your face and warmth in your heart. The prayer of a coach, the dream of a special needs child, and the God of the universe reaching down for a moment to remind us He cares, He hears, and He answers.

Purpose For Your Life

“We also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness and the work of faith with power.” 2 Thessalonians 1:11


I remember as a child hearing people talking about getting a “calling.” Mainly, I remember it in regards to someone talking about how they became a Pastor. “When I got the call…” they would say. As a child, I remember wondering if the phone rang in their moment of getting “the call.” I didn’t really get it. To be honest, it would be much later in my life that I would truly understand what that really meant.

As I got older, I gained a new understanding to what it meant. My take on it was that it meant you figured out what you were to do with your career. At one time I was set on becoming an audiologist. I felt I was getting a calling to test hearing and to work with ears. I was getting closer.

Years later, I now sit and reflect on what a calling really is and feel like I finally have a grip on what it means. Henry Blackaby writes, “God initiates our calling and reveals it to us through His Holy Spirit. His Spirit then guides and empowers as we serve God not only in our vocation but also by participating in His kingdom work. God has a purpose for your life, and it involves far more than earning a living.”

In my mid twenties, my relationship with Christ changed. It blossomed and took on a deep and meaningful level I can’t describe. In the beginning of this season, I started to hear the phone ring. One day I picked it up. The next thing I knew, I was on a plane to minister to orphans in a country I knew nothing about. As I sat on the plane departing the US, I wondered if I should have let my machine pick up the call.

Today, I’m thankful I answered it. My calling is to serve (specifically to “the least of these” talked about in Matthew 25). How do I know? Because it is there that I find Him. It is there that I see Him. It is there that I know I am right where I am supposed to be and in His kingdom work. What about you? Have you answered the phone yet? God DOES have a purpose for your life far greater than earning a living. What is it? Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door will open. Take a deep breath, and answer the phone.

Random Questions From My Quirky Mind

Am I weird because I got excited and already bought a pumpkin bowl and a bunch of candy for the trick or treater’s this year?

Is there a more beautiful place in the fall besides IL?

Why is a campfire so hypnotizing?

Are runners chasing after more than the finish line in life? And are climbers trying to reach something more than the top of the mountain??

Why do cell phone companies have to be so frustrating?

Why does The Cheesecake Factory cheesecake make me smile with just the thought of it?

Is there such a thing as healthy food that tastes terrific?

Does it make me “mature” that my neighbors painted the trim on their house and the entire garage door bright PINK and I: 1. Resisted the urge to run to the other neighbors and gossip about it. 2. Still smile and wave to them even though the pink color strikes a nerve in me each day.

It is bad that one of the reasons I am excited for fall is that I can wear cute heeled boots again?

Will my husband remember that he said he won’t ever say I am not adventurous since I crawled through a bunch of dark caves with him that had big spiders and no room to stand up?!

Will I ever be able to run competitively again?

Will this new season of fall be the best season in life yet?

Is there a comfortable dress shoe with heels that won’t hurt my foot after wearing it for 12 hours?

How will I see God at work this season and how will I allow Him to work through me?


Feel free to provide answers to any of the above.

The Door

As I take a step up, I have to take a deep breath. I gently raise my hand in the shape of a loose fist and thrust it over my head and forward. I realize I have been in this very spot before. The same hand is raised, the same lungs taking in air to calm my pulse rate down, the same fears running through my mind, and the same anxiety of not knowing what will be the result of the knock on the door. As my hand hits the door in my mind, I can almost hear it audibly. *Knock… Knock….Knock*


Will He answer the door? He promises to do so. How long will I have to knock? Will He crack the door open just a bit to tell me to come back later? If so, what should I do in the meantime? Am I at the wrong door? How about a note slipped under the door with directions on where to find the right door with Him behind it? I’m just not sure. And so…I keep knocking. *Knock…Knock*

To the right or to the left? Move quickly ahead or Be Still? Who knows? As I stand before a heavy door that I’m not sure I could even push open if I did hear “Come on in” from the other side, I wait. Knowing in my heart there is a purpose and growth in the wait before the door opens, I still have a feeling of confusion. Hanging on to the promise, I will persist. *Knock*

Matthew 7:7-8 NLT “ Keep on asking and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”

The Climb

My husband and I went for a bike ride recently. We rode 10 miles, Phil hardly broke a sweat. He is way stronger than I am on a bike. About 4 miles into the ride we came to a decision making point. Turn around and go home, was option one. Go to the right and have to climb a very large hill, was option number two. Or we could do option number three and ride in a residential area. I chose option number three.

Although option number three didn’t have that huge hill, I wasn’t aware that it did have some (not exactly small) hills. I suddenly became aware as I looked and couldn’t see over the hump in the road far ahead. I needed to get moving. Phil rode right beside me and encouraged me. I was struggling to get the words out of my mouth, “I….don’t….think…I…can make…it..to…the top.” He reassured me I could.

I was struggling. Phil told me to try to stand and pedal…my legs wouldn’t let me up. I was worn out. I wasn’t sure how to respond to the person driving up the hill in their car who yelled out the window “Good Job!” As I was CREEPING up the hill and noticeably wobbly at this point, I wasn’t sure the passerby was making fun of me or trying to encourage me. A walker would have been going faster up that hill than I was climbing. So..I laughed…which didn’t help as I was trying to get up the hill.

All the sudden I felt a hand on my back and a gentle push in those last few feet that I didn’t think I was going to make. As I looked to my left, I saw my husband riding one handed while helping me along. I didn’t ask for the help. He knows I never would have, I am way too stubborn. It bruised my pride to be pushed but was greatly appreciated at the same time. And so…I let him help me up those last few feet to the top.

What about you? Are you struggling up a hill? Are you barely able to stand up to push? We all have been there in life. Maybe it isn’t about a bike ride. Maybe it is something in life that you are struggling with that is even bigger, and you feel like you are climbing a mountain instead of a hill. Know that the Lord is there to take one hand off His handle bars and to help you up. He is riding right beside you. He is watching you, cheering you on, and even ready to give you a gentle push to the top if you will receive it. And remember, once you get to the top, it’s all downhill from there.

Orphan Sunday

Grab your calendars, blackberries, and notepads. Orphan Sunday is November 8th, 2009. Get your church involved! Click this link to learn more.

http://www.orphansunday.org/

Let the voice of millions be heard in your church.

Prayers for Blessed

Please pray for this little one in Kenya. Her name is “Blessed” and she is the daughter of a Pastor in Kitale, Kenya. She has a heart condition and needs medical attention and a miracle. She is pictured here with her father. Financial provision and physical healing to her body are greatly needed.

Days of Hunger Ahead...

In a time when the crops should be flourishing and lush, the sight of the fields is bare and hardly what it should be. In a time when you shouldn’t be able to see your neighbor’s rooftop because the corn is so tall, you can practically see your neighbors doorstep. In a time where you can hear the stalks of corn gently move in the breeze, you hear a constant rustling of dry leaves brushing against each other. Kenya is in a stage of drought.

The food Kenyans rely on the most, is maze. It’s a type of corn, and they practically live on it. It can be cooked on a basic grill made from a bit of wire. It can be ground and used for corn meal. There are many ways to use it for food, and it is what the country depends on to survive. This year, due to the lack of rain, it just isn’t there.

Kenyans are preparing for the impending famine that will be coming soon. With the lack of maze, people will starve. When your child needs food and is so very hungry, what do you feed them? When water is scarce, and the food just isn’t there, what do you do? Many Kenyans are turning to prayer for their hope in a miracle.

While traveling in Kenya this July, I was shocked. The corn fields that are normally bright green and healthy were brown and dead. The corn stalks were so short, and almost brought tears to my eyes as I gazed out to the fields that surrounded my truck window. What will these people eat? They have to have food. The Kenyans are preparing for hard times ahead. “People will starve to death this year, it’s going to happen with the crops the way they are. Things will be very tough in the days ahead,” they say.

Yes, I am one of the first in a crowd to start a discussion about our health care debates going on right now. We are so blessed to not be debating about topics such as “What will we all eat in the coming months.” What will the Kenyans do? What will they eat? How many will die as a result of the recent droughts and lack of corn? It’s a sad reality they just aren’t ready to deal with. Neither am I. Our kids live there. Our sisters and brothers live there, and in Matthew 25 verses 35-40 Jesus tells us it is He will be there living it as well.

Please pray for all those searching for food, ways to survive, and faith to get through the days ahead. Please pray for ways you can be a part of the answer.

The Boy at the Window

"Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always" 1 Chronicles 16:11

In a small village tucked away in fields of corn, there stood a church with sounds of praises pouring out of the cracks in the mud walls and the two open doors of the church. One window was covered with a cloth stretched as far as the threads would allow with sunlight beaming through the worn holes. Wrapped tightly around the bar to the window, I saw a small dark hand gripping metal. As my eyes worked upwards from that hand, they stopped on the eyes of a young boy. This is him pictured here.

As the word of God was read and praise and music was filling the room. The presence of the Lord was felt, and the eyes of this young boy watched intently. I found my head tilt to the side as the thought, “Who is he” crossed my mind. Where did he come from? Has he ever been in this church before? As I watched him stand and listen for at least a couple hours, as the African church service proceeded, I prayed for him.

He was more than just a small boy to me. He represented all those young children who don’t quite make it into the church. He stood on the outside peering in. Was he wondering what it was like to have the joy he saw in the faces of those inside? Maybe he was seeking an answer to where the sound was coming from that he could hear in the village coming from the church’s area. Maybe he was looking for food. Maybe he was looking for water. Maybe he was in need of something to quench his spiritual thirst. The boy at the window represented to me so many out there that are peering in and seeking answers…seeking Him.

After some time, I looked to the window and of course, he was gone. Off into the fields of corn, probably never to be seen by me again. He is still out there, and so are the millions of others who are hungry, thirsty, and/or just looking for answers. They are peering in the window with a desire to join in. I’m not sure of this young man’s name, but ask you to lift him up in prayer today.

Posting Soon

Thanks to you all who have been checking this site for new posts. We got back from Africa about a week ago. We have been trying to get caught up with things this week. I'm working on getting some stories and pictures up soon from the trip!

Someway...Somehow...Back to Africa

In less than one week, I travel back to a place that has stolen something from me. It’s a place that some how chisels off pieces of my heart each time I am there. Each piece broken off is surrendered reluctantly and accompanied by a mixture of pure joy and pain. Next week, I travel back to Africa.

How does one prepare one’s heart to be broken by the sight of human suffering? How does one prepare one's eyes to see the image of children naked and starving on the street? How does one prepare one’s arms to hold a child that longs to be held and loved by a forever family? How does one prepare ones feet to walk away when it is time to go? I have no idea. I just know God does it…someway ..somehow.

Maybe it’s the innocent smile from an abandoned baby looking up from a crib. Maybe it’s grip of a hand onto yours from a teenager who wants a friend..even for just a moment. Maybe it is the tear of joy streaming down a widow’s face as she describes how blessed she is to care for her HIV infected grandchild in a one room mud hut. Maybe it is the inspiration that comes from seeing the courage and faith they all have by the Grace of God..someway… somehow.

Maybe one’s heart can never be prepared, but can be broken and miraculously healed by the glow of light that comes from the many least of these they encounter. How does ones heart be broken so many times in one day, and rest at night beating bigger than it had the previous dawn? It’s an out of this world thing He does..someway... somehow.

Soon, I travel back to Africa. I go to learn, to see, to serve, and to meet Him there once again. What an honor and blessing it will be. Phil and I will be traveling together this time and would greatly appreciate your prayers. One year ago, I started this blog as a way for me to write about my trip to Africa then. It served as a place to tell stories of those who needed a voice. I hope to bring that voice back with me once again after this trip. I’m not sure how often I will be able to update my blog while gone. Please know if I can’t update while I am away, I will do so when I return.

Living Life

There was a time in my life when I didn’t “get it.” Maybe you have been there. Maybe you are there. I was living life, and yes was a Christian. However, I wasn’t “getting it”. I went to the Lord each day with my requests and even praises at times too. That’s what Christians do, right? That is our purpose. We ask for help and give thanks for our blessings. Then one day I realized there was much more to life…something I suspected all along.

It hit me one day in what seemed like a far away distant world the Lord had taken me to. There were probably 150 people in the room with me. It felt like just the two of us were there alone. It was there He spoke. I’m not sure what He said exactly. It wasn’t auditable. The words somehow poured into my heart, into my soul, and into the deepest place within me. I realized then and there, I wasn’t living my life for Him. I was living it for me. I wasn’t “getting it” in life. I changed in that moment and made a decision to drastically do things different. I suddenly got it.

Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”

How are you living your life? Are you living it for you or for Him? What are you giving? I often find I ask this question to myself at times. Living a life FOR Him is an intentional effort and choice that has to be made daily. It’s hard to slip away from it and go back to the self-centeredness we all have. Are you so busy trying to make a living that you have been side tracked from giving and living a life for Him? Ouch..I know it hurts to look so closely at ourselves in that regard.

It takes courage. I'm guilty, and I know many of you are too. We go to Him and ask Him for guidance, wisdom, or help. We do this knowing full well, IF we opened our ears up big enough, or IF His voice somehow miraculously reached us even though we aren’t actively listening, we won’t take the guidance. It’s like we ask, “tell me what to do, Lord” thinking that request gets us off the hook. We ask for the help so we have done our part. Then we expect it to all be handed to us or fixed until we need help again. It has to be such a slap in the face to Him. We don’t live our lives for Him, but we are constantly coming to Him for help and expecting Him to fix it. We ignore Him when He does try to help..if it entails us actually doing something, sacrificing, or just doesn’t sound like fun. I can’t imagine how frustrating that would be. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be that person to my Heavenly Father.

Therefore today, once again, I pray for change. I challenge you to pray too. Let’s pray for a life that is being lived out for Him. Wake up each day and make that effort and be thankful for the opportunity. The best in life awaits us. He blesses those who are faithful and obedient. He will guide us..IF we ask and are willing to listen and take the direction. Let’s live a life For Him.

An Ungrateful Mower

I was mowing recently and feeling pretty ungrateful. My hands had blisters because I had to keep gripping the mower and picking it up every so many steps to keep the long grass from clogging it up. It was hot. I didn’t feel good. The sticks the mower picked up kept shooting out the back and hitting my legs. My foot hurt. When I had to turn the mower off, I sometimes couldn’t get it started on the first pull. I was ticked.

As the sun beamed down and the degrees gradually grew on the thermostat, I had a flashback in my life. It was just under one year ago. I was riding in a truck down a busy and mass populated area. There were small patches of grass on the road medians. Every patch seemed to have an old woman sitting on it…mowing. The mowing was a bit different than what I did though. They didn’t have gasoline to fill up a machine to cut the grass. They sat all day with hand clippers slowing cutting away at each blade. The sun was hot, and they sat all day clipping. This is a day in the life of many Ethiopian women..the blessed ones that have a job and a source of income. They hand clip grass and are probably thankful to do it.

Was I thankful? I was thankful to be done when it was over. I wasn’t nearly as grateful as I should have been. I was blessed with the mower, the gasoline, clean water to drink when I was hot, clean clothes to wear when I showered after the sweaty work, and a yard of my own to mow on top of everything. My perspective changed after I realized my selfishness.

There are blessings in so many things we do and even complain about each day. Doing the laundry seems so time consuming at times. The picture above is of an Ethiopian woman, I met last year, doing her laundry by hand. We are so blessed and need to remember to give thanks and to pray for those who struggle and dream to have a sliver of what we complain about.

My prayer today is for those women clipping grass in a far away country today. May God bless them just as much as He has blessed me.

And The Walls Come Down

I recently started going to an acupuncturist for some health issues. As a former “sick kid,” who was stuck with needles too many times to count, I never thought I would find myself in a position willingly having 30+ needles poked into me at any given time. Strange are the situations we find ourselves in during our time here, I guess. The first few times of going, I was hesitant each time the Dr. approached me. Not that the needles hurt too badly, but it was probably more due to the loss of control I felt. The picture above is one where the Dr. is attempting to get the damaged nerves in my knee to work again following a botched knee surgery from my past.

One visit while I was suffering from a cold, my Dr. told me he could give me some relief by placing the needles in some sinus points. He found a knot in the back of my neck, and told me to relax as he put the needle in. He then told me to breathe. Ahhhh…for the first time in days my nose suddenly worked to take in air. It was as if a wall had just been knocked down inside my sinuses. I greatly enjoyed what so many of us take for granted normally, getting air to my lungs by way of taking in air through the nose! It was so nice.

What felt like a wall in my nose/sinuses had been up for a few days. I tried lots of things to take it down. I did the sinus rinse (as I chuckled at how silly I looked putting a plastic tea pot looking thing up my nose.) I used vapor rub, over the counter meds, allergy meds, hot tea, etc. Nothing broke down the wall until that needle went into the knot/muscle/nerve or whatever you call where he put it.

As I held still in a semi dark room with the pins in me, I got to thinking about how the Lord works on our hearts. I think a lot of us have walls around our hearts. Walls that we have tried to break down with cheap and temporary remedies. None really work. The Lord has the ability to touch our hearts and remove those walls. It’s amazing how he can do it. He finds the place where we hurt, and with His gentle touch…the wall comes down. It’s pretty amazing. When the wall comes down, it’s like breathing clearly for the first time in a long time.

Just as I was hesitant at those first few needles going in me, I know some of you are hesitant of letting the Lord near that wall. You are afraid it will hurt and probably afraid you will lose control. Take a deep breath, relax, and realize you are in good hands. Ask Him to remove that wall, and before you know it…you will be amazed at how clearly you are breathing again.

Instant Message From God

I had a dream last night. It started just as I drifted off. I dreamt I was on the computer and suddenly got an instant message from someone on the screen. A greeting came across the screen. I skeptically typed back to respond and said “Is that you, God?” “Yes, it’s Me.” He answered. I suddenly realized that I should start asking Him some questions while I had Him online. Frantically, I started typing. Sometimes He answered me before I even got the question typed.

Me: Is that You, God?
God: Yes, it’s Me.
Me: What are You doing?
God: Watching over you.
Me: God, could You help me with…
God: Of course, I will provide for you.
Me: How did You know what I was going to ask?
God: I just knew. Yes, I will provide for you.
Me: Will you stay close to me?
God: Always

The conversation continued. I asked a few more questions. There have been many nights where I pray in bed asking for wisdom. King Solomon asked for wisdom during a dream conversation with God. He asked for just a sliver of God's wisdom. I have often asked for this while awake. In my dream, did I ask for wisdom on my instant message conversation? Nope. Did I ask Him the questions about things I have lost sleep over in my life? Nope. Instead I asked questions about safety, provision, etc. I didn’t know I was even worried about these things.

I was irritated when I woke up. The questions I asked were so elementary. They were questions that I really already knew the answers to. Why didn’t I ask those questions about things I have struggled finding the answers to over the years. Why didn’t I request for a heart more like His or for that sliver of wisdom. Why did I ask questions that I knew the answers to deep down in my heart? I have no idea. I guess the fog of the dream kept me from thinking clearly.

A dream is a dream. Our mind takes us on these imaginary journeys that have no limit on adventure or reality. Although, we know in the Bible, the Lord did come to many people in their dreams. Maybe my dream has more meaning than being just a story in my mind. Maybe the Lord spoke to me in a way to remind me that He is here for us in the little things in life. Maybe He wanted to remind me of things I didn’t know I needed to hear.

Maybe my dream conversation is as much for me as it is for one of you reading this now. Let this be a reminder to us all. God promises that He will always watch out for us. He promises that He will provide, and He won’t leave us. He will do this…always. From His computer screen…to mine…to yours. Message delivered.

Ecclesiastes

We were challenged this Sunday to read Ecclesiastes and underline the word “meaningless” each time we saw it. I just finished this assignment.

Although I’ve read Ecclesiastes before, the words took a different meaning to me this time. It’s so insightful and really doesn’t take long to read. Maybe I am in a different place in life now than I was when I read it the last time. As I read, I found myself underlining more than just the word “meaningless.” There were several things I highlighted that hit me hard.

“Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influences on us.” (Ecclesiastes 7:3) Boy, is that ever true! Think back to the situations in life that have had the most influence on who you are today. I’m willing to guess that those things that had the biggest impact on you are moments or times of sorrow or sadness…pain or hardships.

“Then I observed that most people are motivated to success because they envy their neighbors. But this too is meaningless- like chasing the wind.” (Ecclesiastes 5:4)
Unfortunately, I think we are all guilty of this at some point in our lives.

I challenge you to read Ecclesiastes too. Have a pencil in hand to underline what stands out to you as you read.

We do spend a lot of our time here chasing after the wind. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be a wind chaser. There is greater purpose in life than running after that wind. Run after what the Lord is calling you to do with your life. Strap on those tennis shoes and run for a purpose that can be lived out through you if you go after it. You won’t be running alone. The Lord knows it’s easier to run with a partner. He will go with you. I’ve got my athletic socks on and am about to lace up. Anyone care to join me?

Junk Ridding

As I prepare for a yard sale, I look at all the stuff in the for sale pile that I hope to get rid of. As I look at some items, I think to myself, “What if someone doesn’t take that? Will I be stuck with it forever?” Some of the things I really want to get rid of. If no one buys it, should I donate it or even throw it away?

Getting rid of stuff, junk, or even things we like but no longer have room for, isn’t easy. It’s time consuming. It’s difficult to know if you should sell it and how much to sell it for. It’s a lot of work and sometimes is hard to let go of things, but feels GREAT when it’s gone. At the end you are left feeling refreshed and lighter to have gotten rid of so much stuff you had been carrying around. Oh…the joy of Junk-Ridding.

Getting rid of stuff you don’t need is a good thing. We all have a bag or two that needs to be given up. You know what I mean. I’m not talking about the old faithful Samsonite that has lasted a lifetime and you can’t seem to part with. I mean old baggage inside our hearts that we hang on to that needs to go.

Once in the 7th grade we had a new girl start at school. I went out of my way to be nice to her and felt bad for her because she was new. In return, she thought it would be fun to make up a nasty rumor about me and spread it all over the class. That still strikes an anger nerve in me today. Silly, huh?

In the midst of the glorious Yard Sale season, I have a challenge for you (and for myself). Let go of that old bag you have been carrying around. It’s probably something more than a junior high squabble. If it is a bag that you have been carrying, keeping, hording, or even storing in the attic, give it up, let it go. It’s not doing you any good. Let’s face it, you don’t have room for it, and deep down you don’t want it anymore. Maybe it is junk from your past. Maybe you have treasured bitterness about something for a long time. He stands by ready to take it off your hands for you. If you don’t give it to Him, you will be stuck with it for a lifetime. Let it go and enjoy that light feeling of not carrying it around and the refreshed feeling of Junk-Ridding.

Stain Removal

Recently while fixing my hair for the day, I looked around the room and saw how many cleaners I had. Wow..I have a lot of different soaps. We all do.

Hand soap
Bar Soap
Shower Gel
Shampoo
Face Wash
Pore Cleanser
Foot scrub
Wound cleaner
Toilet Cleaner
Carpet Cleaner
Dust Cleaner
Window Cleaner
Laundry Soap
Stain Removers
Dish Soap
Dish Washer Soap
Kitchen and Bath Cleaner
Wet Wipes
Antibacterial Gel


The list could probably go on and on.

We wash our hands many times a day. Why? We don’t want germs to get into our body thus making us sick. We bathe each day (I hope most of you do anyway). Why? We want to be clean and don’t want to stink. We are obsessed with staying clean. We are obsessed with staying stain free it seems.

We are told that reading His Word will make us healthy, strong, and help us to clean up spiritually. Tell me, why don’t we read it with as much discipline as we do with using our cleaners? Isn’t our spiritual cleanliness more important than anything? We spend money, time, and energy on purchasing and using soaps and cleaners. We pursue the goal of being clean in that way aggressively. We are offered a way to remain clean and free from the stench of sin through our Lord. Why then do we not spend more time with Him?

Just an observation…..

An Attempt to Listen

A bird chirps. A dog barks. Tree branches move in the wind, and the sound of rustling leaves fills the area that surrounds me. As I look at what was once a beautiful gardenia bush waiting to be planted, I realize my over zealous desire to water it has drowned it and made it yellow and sick.

An ant scurries across the mound of dirt. Rushing to get back to his home. A cucumber plant gains height as I stare. Its growth is so slow I can’t see it moving. However, tomorrow, I will be shocked to see how tall it got in just one day.

A loud crash. A racing engine. The garbage truck and workers are earlier than normal. I faintly hear the ice maker churning and spitting ice into the bucket. At my feet sleeping and breathing softly is one of the sweetest little dogs known to man.

This is my attempt to be still, to be silent, and to listen.

As my mind wanders here and there, I reflect. God is good.

In the midst of the unknown on a sick loved one’s battle, I know that He is Jehovah-Rophe (The Lord who Heals). I give thanks.

As I realize the precious gift of the arms of a husband that hold me so tight and in a way I’ve never felt it be okay to let go and cry before, I know that He is Jehovah-Jireh (The Lord who Provides) I give thanks.

As I think about all those suffering in a world that is not our home, I know that He is El-Shaddai. (The Lord who is Sufficient for the needs of His people). I give thanks.

I stand in awe of the ways he works. I stand in awe of the thousands of leaves on the trees in my backyard and realize He created each one. I know that He cares for each bird in my yard and the lilies in the field. I wonder how. My mind can’t fathom it all, but my heart rejoices.

The Conversation

It’s surreal how when you get news of a loved one passing away, it seems as if the world stops. Time seems to stand still, and it’s as if you are violently shoved into a bubble of slow motionlessness. Yesterday, I received the call that my grandfather had passed away.

At the risk of sounding cliché, he really is in a better place now. He is in a place of no pain, and in a place where he is enjoying the majesty of the Lord more than we can ever imagine. I have come to peace with that and am thankful.

Yesterday, my mind couldn’t help but go back to the praise song we sang in church only this last Sunday. The words were echoing in my head. “You give and take away. You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name.” In the midst of mourning, I will praise Him and stand in awe of His power.

Phil suggested we go watch the sunset that evening. It was a good idea. As I sat in my kayak watching the sun slowly slip down the horizon, I was reminded that time doesn’t stand still. Life goes on. The birds were still chirping, commercial planes full of people were still flying through the air, and the cars on the bridge were rushing by in their busy evening commute. Life…it goes on.

My grandfather was a good man. He helped so many people in his life. He came to accept Christ’s gift of salvation at a very late age and before the Alzheimer’s claimed much of his body and mind. We are so grateful for that. He is a perfect example of how at a late age in life, thought that praying to God and doing good deeds would get him into Heaven. He didn’t know there was a gift to accept until someone told him. Maybe there is someone in your life that needs to hear the good news that is similar to my grandfather?

We rest in knowing he is in the presence of the Lord now, and we will see him again one day. He will be missed, but his memory will live on in the hearts of those who knew him. Life here..will go on.

Is there someone in your life that you need to have a talk with about their relationship or lack there of with Christ? Life is short. Have that conversation.

Thou Shalt Bless Thy Neighbor

In a small town, when a siren is heard, everyone goes outside. If there is an ambulance headed somewhere…chances are that you know whose home they are headed to. That’s where I come from. I would hear a siren, look to see what direction it was going, and say a prayer for the person in need.

I now live in a larger city where I know practically no one. Living fairly close by to a hospital, I have been hearing quite a few sirens. At first, I found myself shifting in my seat. I had to resist that habit of walking out the front door to see where the ambulance was going. Now, after being here for a month or so, I don’t seem to notice the noise. To be honest, the prayers for the people in need of those ambulances have ceased too.

Recently while in prayer, I was convicted of my negative attitude while going on my daily walks. Instead of praying for each family as I walked by each home, I tended to think critically about the long grass, broken fences, or junk in their yards. Not many houses are like this where we live. However, there are a few. I wasn’t stopping to consider what might be going on in the lives of those who reside in the homes where the plants that are dying in the pots, and the grass is taller than the family cat lurched outside. Maybe turmoil, stress, or heartache is consuming the time of those who live behind those doors. Maybe painting the chipped mailbox just isn’t a priority because someone is terminally ill.

In my old neighborhood, everyone knew what was going on in the lives of each tattered yard owners’ life....too much so. Here, I just don’t know. So why was I so quick to be critical and so forgetful of how I should love them? Just because I don’t know them, doesn’t make them unworthy of concern or prayer! I prayed that night for the Lord to remind me to pray for the people in the homes as I walk by.

You can tell a lot by walking by the homes of those around you. Toys outside mean they have children that need prayed for. A car held together with duct tape in the driveway may have an owner that could use a prayer for provision. The homes that appear to have everything and look perfect may just have a nice looking front but behind closed doors need prayers for marriages, children, or even salvation.

Consider going for a walk today and praying for your community, your neighbors, and those in each home you pass. You have an opportunity to bless MANY people today. It doesn’t require you to write a check, to give up a Saturday on a busy weekend, or even to venture out of your comfort zone. Take a walk..and bless those around you.

Random Thoughts

Riding a bike is good exercise and can be fun. Riding a bike with padded shorts is even better.

Is there any thing more frustrating than trying to spread homemade pizza dough in the pan?

I find it quite funny a woman on the news announced she gave birth to fraternal twins that have two different fathers. She was on the news saying she wants everyone to know because there are only a handful of cases of this in the world. Her boyfriend, one of the twin’s fathers, has forgiven her for her unfaithfulness and is raising the other twin as his own. The mother stated she has decided not to inform the second child’s father she had his baby. Well, if he watched the 10:00 news, I’m guessing she won’t have to make that phone call.

Why is a large carpet area rug that covers a portion of the room almost more expensive than carpeting the WHOLE room?

Is it okay to call myself a farmer because I have carrots, cucumbers, and cantaloupe plants growing? If not, I’m going to do it anyway. Is it lame I get excited to see how much they have grown each day? If so, I’m okay with it.

Never thought I would high five over Craig’s List. I have done so…three times….in one week.

I so enjoy how Guitar Hero makes me feel like an actual guitar hero. If Aerosmith ever comes to town, they will be able to count on me for a fill in if needed. I’ll be ready.

I think of Swine Flu every time I touch the handle on the grocery cart.

Cookies are to milk as corn on the cob is to grilled meat as honey mustard is to chicken strips.

If I look forward to having garage sales as much as I absolutely dread having them, does that make me neutral on the event?

Why do squirrels freak me out?

Married Households vs. Single Households: Toilet paper disappears faster. Laundry seems to grow so fast you think it is breeding in the basket. Leftovers don’t last nearly as long. Time seems more precious. The sound of “Honey, I’m home!”..makes your heart flutter.

The Lord continues to bless me more than I deserve.

I wonder if the kids in Kitale had enough to eat today.

The story of David and Goliath makes me smile. Every time I cross the street “Goliad” I think of it.

Rain or shine…IL or TX…in my husband's arms is my favorite place to be.

Be Still...

I firmly believe that God is all around us in so many ways. Sometimes we just get so busy, so distracted, and so noisey, that we don’t notice He is right there. Recently while kayaking, I was reminded of this.

As we paddled on the calm lake water, I dodged the trees sticking out of the water. A crane sat perched in a tree nearby enjoying the view and breeze. My husband says I am all or nothing..either I “go fast” or “don’t go at all” while paddling. I hate to admit that he is right most of the time. However, in this moment I moved slowly towards the bird. I wanted to see him. I wanted to get as close as I could. I tried to be as quiet as possible, and I couldn’t believe how close I was able to get. The bird was beautiful. Eventually, it gently lifted into the air and flew away.

The further I glided around the lake, I realized how nice it was when I stopped to listen. The sounds of nature are really pretty calming and nice. Those sounds are always there. This was the first time I had actually heard them since the move to my new place in life.

Why have I never heard them before? Is it because it was a calm day? Maybe it was because music wasn’t encompassing my mode of transportation or being fed right into my ears. My fingers weren’t busy texting either. Maybe it was because for the rare moment, no words were pushing their way past my lips. It was quiet, and I liked it.

The occasional fish flopped near my boat, and I’ll confess I might have let out a shriek or two. But for the most part, it was a peaceful time. I have problems with being still. I don’t have attention issues. I have just fallen accustomed to the trap of the enemy…an addiction to noise. I think he pulls us into the trap so we have a harder time hearing the Lord. When I took the time to consciously stop and to be still…I saw Him in the birds. I saw Him in the sounds of His creations, and I felt Him in the peace I felt as I relaxed.

I wonder if in the times in life I have felt like I couldn’t hear Him while wanting guidance, if I just missed it with that “go fast or don’t go at all” way I have sometimes. Was I going so fast or too distracted, that I didn’t hear when the guidance was offered? Was it gently whispered to me as the wind whistled and the birds chirped, but the music vibrating out of the car speakers covered it up? Maybe I was on the phone, was busy cleaning, or was making one of the many on-going mental lists in my head and just didn’t hear it. Bummer.

I’m a work in progress just like the next person. My prayer is that we all make an extra effort to see Him each day, to hear Him each day, and to enjoy Him each and every day. Sometimes we just have to be still and quiet.

Registration Purgatory

I had but one goal for today. It seemed simple, but it was just one of those days. We have all had those days. They are they kind that sitcom writers get their plots from. Today I entered into what I call “Registration Purgatory.”

I have spent a good amount of time on the phone lately. I haven’t been chatting like a school girl to friends back home, rather I’ve been on the phone with government agencies. There are important things on my to-do list: Change my name on my passport, register my vehicle, get a driver’s license, and obtain a social security card with my new name.

As I sit and type in this moment…I have no real proof of who I am. At least I can chuckle as I type that last sentence. Trust me, I wasn’t laughing a few hours ago.

It started with a few calls to the DMV and the County Registration department. They told me all the paperwork I was to bring. I packed my things and was on my way. The first stop was to get the vehicle checked.

I needed to get my oil changed and also get the required “Certificate of Inspection” for Texas. With a minimal wait, I was out the door and feeling very optimistic that I could get the registration of my SUV AND license today. Why not? What could go wrong? I was on a roll.

As I walked into the registration office, I saw two signs and two groups of people waiting. Next to the first group waiting, was a sign that said “Property Taxes.” Next to the other group was a sign that said “Registration.” After waiting about 20 minutes, I realized that there was a small sign reading that only cash and checks were accepted for payments. Realizing I didn’t have our checkbook and didn’t have a lot of cash, I left and drove to the nearest ATM.

Next I came back to an even more crowded room. I took my place at the end of the line by the group with the registration sign. After waiting 45 minutes, I finally got to the counter. I explained that I needed to register my vehicle. The tired woman looked up from the counter and said, “I’m sorry, you are in the wrong line. Your line is over there.” “You mean I should have been in the line under the property taxes sign for my car registration instead of the registration sign?” “Yes, that is correct,” she stated. I wanted to ask her if I was on a hidden camera prank show.

After waiting at least a half hour in the property tax group, I was finally called up to the oh so friendly counter of property taxes for my car registration. After looking at my paperwork, I was told that I was missing information on the bank in which a loan was taken out on my car. This info was not listed as paperwork needed when I called. So, I was told to come back when I had the appropriate info.

Too make a long story short (too late). I eventually stood in more lines, retrieved the needed info, and received the registration. Now I was on to get my license. By following the directions to the DMV that I was given at the registration office, I arrived at the building. As I entered it, I let out a sigh of relief for almost being done with the whole process. It was cut short as I saw a sign on a window. “If you are looking for the DMV office, it has moved to another building at ___ location.” Great.

Back into the car I went and drove to the new office. What did I do next? I stood in line again, of course. My turn came and I explained I simply wanted a Texas license. I was confident there would be no problems because I brought everything they told me to bring on the phone. Only there was a problem because during my turn, they told me they MUST have my birth certificate. I would have loved to have had that info earlier.

Home again…home again. After grabbing a quick bite to eat and packing my birth certificate, I drove back to the DMV. As I opened the door, I realized many people had just gotten off work as the line was almost out the door. When my turn finally came, things went smoothly, and I was in disbelief. “Here is your temporary copy, Miss” the worker said. “Temporary? Temporary copy of what?” I asked. “Your temporary license. You don’t actually get your license today. We will mail it to you in 4-6 weeks.” Shocked and a bit irritated that I wasn’t getting the card, I was just thankful to be done.

As I got into the car, something hit me. I am going to be travelling in a few weeks. How can I travel with no picture ID? So, back I went to stand at the end of the line wrapped around the room. (You aren’t allowed to ask questions unless you wait your turn in line.) When it was my turn once again, I asked them what I was supposed to do since they took my old license, and I had no picture ID to travel with. I was told there was nothing they could do.

Six hours after I started this process, I was left not knowing what my legal name actually is. Do I go by my maiden name or my married name? I have no official identification. My new social security card is being processed, my driver’s license consists of an index sized piece of paper with a red stamp on it, and my passport is probably somewhere in a Pennsylvania office cubicle. All of these things promised to arrive in 4-6 weeks. Who am I? What shall I call myself? I am in Registration Purgatory.

And so I wait…I wait on my cards and ID paperwork to come in the mail. I will be still and know that God is on top of this all and will work it all out. He knows my name and I can be identified by and through Him. My husband says he still loves me (whoever I am) and I know God does too. I will call myself Beth Brinkmeyer….even if I can’t prove it officially.

Thus ends my blog venting.

Dying Hope

I had the honor of attending the Orphan Summit V this year. I missed this conference last year, but was able to attend the year before. This conference has a way of inspiring me, refocusing me, and convicting me.

On the first day of the conference, Rob Mitchell was our plenary speaker. Rob, the author of "Castaway Kid," was an orphan. His story hits close to home in the way that he lived in an orphanage less than an hour from my home before I was even born. He tells the story of what it was like not only to be an orphan, but as a child enduring the hardships of institutional life and the heartbreak of abandonment.

The most powerful statement I heard Rob speak was when he explained the day "Hope Died." He talked of how most orphans have that day. It's a day when they are beaten down and realize they will never be in a family. They will never be loved and from that point on vow to build a wall around their hearts. Hope, something most hang on to until the very end, dies in these children.

As he explained that feeling, I realized that I have seen this in the eyes of so many children. It's an empty look. It's the look of the abandoned, the heartbroken, the lost, the lonely, and the unwanted. To hear a man tell first hand of how worthless he felt as a child, broke my heart. To realize there are MILLIONS of children like him out there is so very convicting.

Hope. We are told in Jeremiah that the Lord has a future for us all. It is one with a hope and a future. As we were so bluntly reminded in one session, "Satan hates babies and hates children" and so he wages his war on these precious children. He robs them of their innocence, their childhood, and their hope. Hope dies within them.

We have the opportunity to resurrect that hope. We have an opportunity to reach down into the pit these children are in, and give them our hand to lift them up. We have the opportunity to do some of the most important work we will be offered in the battles of this world. It all starts with one simple prayer. "Lord, use me."

This past weekend I had the privilege of going with my husband to Buckner International’s Founder's Day Banquet and Go.Be.Do. Conference. It was a great weekend of giving thanks for all the Lord is doing through Buckner.

There is something about seeing a picture of a child in need. Seeing the faces of so many a large screen, cut through me through the events this weekend. Once again I was reminded of the so many children I have met these past few years in ministry….most through Buckner. Their faces flashed before me on screen and in my mind. And then the images in my head stopped on this little girl pictured above. I photographed her on my first mission trip to Romania almost four years ago.

In many ways, my journey in missions started with this child. The look in her eyes still haunts me now. Her picture hangs in the office as a reminder of where I have been, where I am going, and how great the need is out there with these children. Just as we are encouraged through Buckner, that serves so many least of these in need, we are ALL called to Go…to Be…and to Do. Go somewhere. Be a voice. Do something.

I have always felt her eyes spoke through the picture as if to say, "Help me...Please."


Matthew 28:19 Therefore GO and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

Alex

As I felt the sun beaming down on my face, my toes slowly crunched up and sank as deep as they could in the warm sand. I looked around. It was beautiful. I imagined what the Garden of Eden looked like as I wondered if it was close to this. St. Lucia was gorgeous.

We had a wonderful honeymoon and were blessed with the opportunity of being able to get away with some time to relax and have a lot of fun. It was like paradise for us with the breathtaking views, the magnificent sunsets, and time to enjoy what the Lord has created in an island far away.

On the beach, we were approached by many Rastafarians. Many of them selling crafts they made or wanted you to think they made. Some offering to sell us less than legal means of recreation. Some were high…all were friendly and fun to talk with each day. Out of all of them, there is one that I have thought of everyday since my return, one that made my heart shed a tear.

His name is Alex. He wasn’t necessary a Rasta, but was a beach salesman. He walked the beaches selling pure Aloe Vera. He hoped each day for sun and beach goers with burns so his business would flourish. He stopped and talked with us for a bit. We talked with him about quite a few things for some time. He had a tattoo of a large spider on his arm and was telling us about it. He had gotten it at a very young age..a child really. Then he told us about the burn on his arm. “Branding?” I asked. I assumed it was some cultural ritual or something associated with a group he belonged to. “No, I was sitting around one night feeling sad about my friend dying, you know? I just started taking my joint and burning my arm.” Wow…the pain that was hidden underneath his tough exterior.

I felt bad for him. I wondered what potential his life held. I know it is more than getting high and walking the beach all day long. I hesitated to tell him that our hotel gave all guests a free bottle of Aloe. That was probably why he wasn’t selling much on our beach. He wasn’t aware of that and said he was off to another beach where he would have a better chance of selling. Off he went in search of another beach…in search of things his spirit longed for but will never find here on earth.

I wish I could write about what a great witness I was to Alex. I wish I could tell you that I sat him down and shared the Gospel with him. I wish I could tell you that his life was changed by something I did or said that day. I am ashamed to say I didn’t reach out like I probably should have. That night I felt guilty. I worried about Alex and wondered why I didn’t witness to him in some way.

Was it God answering my prayer to quiet me when I need it and to speak only when He feels I should? Or was it me passing up an opportunity …the Lord finding me unwilling to do His work that day. Sadly, I’m guessing it was the second of the two.

I ask you to say a prayer for Alex today. The least I can do now is to bless him in that way today as you read this. Please pray for this young St. Lucian boy. Pray he sees the One who died for him, the One who loves him, and the One who can heal his pain in a way he won’t find here on earth.

It isn’t the first time I have missed an opportunity and probably won’t be the last. I share it with you so you can be reminded to ask the Lord find you willing to do his work and that together we can reach all the Alex types out there. They are out there searching and it is up to us to respond when we come across them in our lives each day.

Wedding Picture

I'm Back...

Much has happened in the last few weeks. Months and months of planning came down to one day..a big day..the wedding day. It was beautiful. On March 28th, I married the love of my life in a ceremony where we felt Him walking side by side with us into the church, down the aisle, and standing before us as we said our vows. It was a great day.

I am now officially living in Texas. After a wonderful honeymoon in St. Lucia (see photo) we packed up the rest of my apartment and headed south for a long day of driving. Now, our new life begins.

As I left my apartment for the last time, I paused and said a quick prayer. “Lord, please bless the next person who lives here as much as you did me while I lived here.” That apartment held many memories. The person I am was not the person that moved in there a few years ago. As I shut the door to it that last time, I opened the door to another adventure.

Phil and I sat in church on Easter morning celebrating the fact that the Lord who took the time to guide the paths of a guy from Texas and a girl from Illinois together, is also the One who conquered death and rose from the grave. I stand in awe of the way He works and the many ways he blesses us.

I will post a few wedding pictures as soon as I can. Thanks for checking on the blog while I was away. I will be back to regular posts as soon. Right now I am unpacking and getting ready for a celebration of the wedding with our friends here in Dallas this weekend.

Almost Mrs

The highest happiness on earth is marriage. ~William Lyon Phelps

On Saturday, March 28th 2009 at 3:30 in the afternoon, Phil and I will be married! I can hardly believe it is almost here. It has been a year in the making, and we are so excited. Only a few more days, and then I will be Mrs. Brinkmeyer.

We are very busy getting the details in order and getting those loose ends tied up before Saturday.

We feel so very blessed and appreciate you all!